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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

/Fathers.


Father Definition : One Who acts or serves as a father to (a child).

Tell me something , why do SOME men impregnate a woman and then f off into the sunset?
I can't understand. I think my Mam deserves everything in the world. I owe her everything. She was there alone and she raised me up and I'm sure their are other woman and sometimes even men who raise kids on their own. They deserve an award in my opinion.

I always felt disappointed. I hadn't met my biological father till I was twelve and I was always curious. and Yes I'm glad I was. I'm glad I met him. Because I now Know.
And no longer need to ponder on the unknown. Honestly I am fed up of being made promises and them being broken. And all this 'father' of mine could do is pass comments about how he's going to help someone who isn't even his own kid with what they love to do. First of all , You don't pass comments like that to your own kid. But then again I am no daughter of yours. You know what the difference is? I'm going to be someone without your money. Opportunities will come along. And when I am someone you will be stood their watching and you'll wish you had been there and you'd wish you could have acted more like a father to me. But you are unable to. You don't know how to love me. You're afraid of me. You are unable of showing love. I know.
I would like to point out money will not make someone better at what they are born with. It helps sure it does. But it is not needed. Things happen sometimes when you least expected I mean look at all those big people up there they were once having money troubles. Money never bought anyone talent or bought anyone what they were meant to do.
I am happy without any fancy gadjets or fancy clothing or fancy schooling. I am what I am.

You want to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day? I think not . How very dare you even ask. How could you? You've done nothing for me you were never there. You did not change my nappies , you did not wake up to my cry in the night. You never helped my mother. You never drove me to school , you never did anything. And a few gifts does not make everything alright. And yes of course I forgive you but that does not mean I should disregard the people who fortunatley were there when you weren't.

I want to say something for you Grandad. I appreciate all you've done for me. You were always there when I cried , when I laughed, when I needed a dad. You are my daddy and you will always be. I love you to pieces.

See unlike you, my grandad was and is a CONSTANT person. and I'm sorry that is something you'll probably never learn how to be. One minute you say you love me. The next minute you say you don't wan't to see me for a year. What kind of person speaks like that to their daughter?. How does that make me feel? And I apologize for being egocentric but to be honest I am not the parent. When you're a parent you have to sacrifice for your children and put them before your selfish needs . After all you made them. And one day when I'm going to be a mother I will make sure my children are put before me and I will be there for them . No matter what.

I will one day become a woman and you'll be sorry you weren't there when I was a girl.

Valentinaa.

1 comments:

Matti said...

Word of encouragement: Perhaps it might be best to think that if such circumstances didn't happen, you wouldn't be here or the beautiful person that you are today :)

Tc xx