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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

/Silence.

It is so difficult to be inside a house with people who to be honest care nothing but of themselves. Yes selfish people. I am currently typing this whilst laying on the floor because the spoilt rotten sister 'veruca salt' is on her bed like a queen. I can't take it any more I feel like myself Dawn and Kev are the forgotten ones. She knows that she can get what she want if she asks and oh no she is not afraid to ask I'm telling you she asks and she receives. I have tried so many times to bite my tounge and be as nice as possible and as loving but it is a tough job. It kills me to have to act like this but I just have to ignore her existence to avoid hurt so she is like an invisible being not even there and I think she knows it. But tell me what would you do if someone were telling you , you look disabled and if they kept going on about the holiday their dad (your dad also) got them and on top of that spending an incredible amount of money on school fees and like on their hair and clothes and how would you feel if your dad never did anything for you if you were sat watching your dad spend around 50 pound on clothes on your sister and didn't even bother to ask. I am not saying I wan't anything but some consideration would be so nice and how wrong is that when your brother needs an areal for his roof and his dad won't even lend him the money because he ''can't'' pay it sure of course you can't but you're spending around 30,000 pound yearly on school fees and bar that spending lots of money on clothes and other luxuries. I am so glad Jesus is with me right now because I swear it hurts so much and it's not that I'm a rotten person saying all these things but I can't keep it in they are my true feelings and I refuse to lie about them. It eats me up inside and its sad that she is becoming a horrible little character which nobody wants around but the difference is people put up an act and act like they are okay with her when in fact they are not and I can't help but be honest in the way I feel and act. I'm not a horrible person I just can't be fake and believe me I have tried to be nice now all I can do is pray and just ignore it like she never existed. Which she hasn't.